20 Life Hacks For Sociopaths Are Pure Brilliance
Nathan Johnson
Published
05/07/2018
in
wow
Some people like to live life by their own rules, these hacks only make it easier.
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1.
âTrying to find your perfect partner? Just tell the police someone robbed you, and when they ask for a description just describe exactly the sort of person you find most attractive â theyâll get a bunch of them in a line up for you!â -
2.
âIf youâre a guy and your wife/girlfriend is super mad at you for something you didnât know you did, go through the kitchen and tighten up every jar lid in the house.â -
3.
âIf your college website uses âTurnItInâ to check for plagiarism, simply add âquotesâ at the beginning and end of your entire paper in white font and it will interpret this as one long citation, giving you a 0% match.â -
4.
âTrying to get a guy/girlâs phone number but they donât want to talk to you? Crash into their car. Then youâll be legally required to exchange contact information.â -
5.
âIf youâre bothered by a person in a movie theater who is on their cellphone, go tell a staff member you saw that person recording the movie on their phone.â -
6.
âDonât ask your girl where she wants to eat. Instead, tell her to guess where youâre taking her to eat. Then take her to the first guess.â -
7.
âsend your significant other flowers to work with just a âfor my special ladyâ note written on it. If she doesnt bring them home from work shes cheatingâ -
8.
âIf youâre in the middle of an intense argument or if someone is yelling directly in your face, respond with âFIRST OF ALL, BRUSH YOUR TEETHâ. Itâll absolutely destroy their self confidence and youâll win the argument/fight by default.â -
9.
âNeed some money? Over the legal alcohol purchasing age? Go to a high school party and offer to buy booze. Collect money from all the kids and never come back.â -
10.
âSave your dead light bulbs; whenever you are at a hotel, swap your bulbs for your roomâs bulbs.â -
11.
âStuck sitting next to loud, annoying children on a plane? Whisper to the flight attendant âLegally speaking, Iâm not supposed to be this close to children.â They might have a bad view of you for the rest of the flight, but you will be moved.â -
12.
âIf there is someone doing work inside of your house (builder, electrician, etc.), offer them a drink, and then put adderall in it to make them work faster.â -
13.
âIf a relative keeps asking you about having kids, lie that the wife is pregnant. A few months later, tell them there was a miscarriage so theyâll feel uncomfortable bringing up the subject again.â -
14.
âif youâre picking up friends or coworkers for a carpool move your seat back to where you are comfortable, then back a little more before you pick them up. Then move it up when they get in.â -
15.
âIf you tell people you have never smoked marijuana before, many of them will smoke you out for free.â -
16.
âBuy an item at an electronics store. Open it. Return said item. Check back in a day to see if itâs on the âopen boxâ table. Buy it again, this time for 30% off.â -
17.
âWorking the last shift at a restaurant? Have a friend call in an order for pickup and not show up, then just take your free food home.â -
18.
âAsk for half of X meat, and half of Y meat at Chipotle for free double meat. Most of the time they wonât actually measure out scoops and just give you full scoops of both. Only time this seems to not work is if the employee is new and hasnât realized they donât get paid enough to care.â -
19.
âWhen robbing a store or someone apply temporary tattoos ahead of time. The cops will ask for visual identifiers of the criminal which will mean they will look for someone with the âstar tattoo on his right hand.'â -
20.
âYou can win any argument against digitally illiterate people by setting up a fake website that proves your point.â
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